WhileFinal Fantasy 14does have the occasional moment of comic relief, it is often a very serious story involving brave heroes like the Warrior of Light fighting various threatsto Eorzeaand beyond. Even the MSQ has funny moments every now and again, but nothing compares to the infamous Hildibrand side quest series.
Hildibrand has been a recurring character since the early 1.0 days ofFinal Fantasy 14. Since then, he has been the star of a lengthy set of side quests that are still being added to this day. In fact, players who want theirLevel 90 Relic weaponmust complete every single Hildibrand quest. Over the course of this hilarious and long side quest, there have been some moments that easily stood out as the funniest.
9Nashu’s Explosive Tendencies
Occurs in: Hildibrand Adventures, Further Hildibrand Adventures, Even Further Hilidibrand Adventures, and Somehow Further Hildibrand Adventures.
At the start of Hilidibrand Adventures,Final Fantasy 14players meet Hildibrand’s faithful assistant, Nashu. Nashu follows by example evidently, as she is often just as clueless as Inspector Hildibrand. The difference between the two is that while Hildibrand will try to solve a problem through absurd methods that seldom work, Nashu attempts to solve most every problem with bombs.
Hildibrand is stuck in the ground? Throw bombs at him. Hildibrand thinks he’s a zombie? Throw bombs at him. Even when Hildribrand became a statue (more on that later), Nashu was able to solve that problem by throwing a bomb at him. While Hildibrand is often the intended target for these bombs, Nashu has nearly gotten a few other individuals (who aren’t as resilient as Hildibrand) killed.
8Hildibrand Plays Dress Up
Occurs in: Hildibrand Adventures and Even Further Hildibrand Adventures.
Hilidibrand will go to extreme lengths to solve any case that he has decided to take on. More often than not, he will attempt to outsmart the criminal he is pursuing through what he believes to be flawless cunning and guile. On two separate occasions, Hildibrand has attempted to dress up as a woman to catch criminals unaware. In Hildibrand Adventures, he dressed up as the bride and managed to lure out the suspect. While this plan worked, the culprit still managed to get away.
This was attempted again later on in Even Further Hildibrand Adventures when Hildibrand disguised himself as a maiden to try and help Nashu. This fooled nobody, but all sorts of hilarious chaos ensued.
7The Living Statue
Occurrs in: Even Further Hildibrand Adventures.
Every series of Hildibrand quests begins with Hildibrand being in some sort of ridiculous predicament. Even Further Hildibrand Adventures, releasedduringStormblood, was easily one of the more bizarre starts. For some inexplicable reason, Hildibrand was frozen like a statue. The merchant thought he was an actual statue and put him up for auction. Before any attempt could be made to wake him up, Hildibrand gets stolen by the Wolf Burglar. After an absurd chase scene, Nashu is able to snap Inspector Hildibrand out of it by throwing a bomb at him.
6Hildibrand’s Mother
Occurs in: Hildibrand Adventures and Further Hildibrand Adventures.
Further updates to the Hildibrand quests in A Realm Reborn introduced players to another member of the Manderville family: Hildibrand’s mother, Julyan. It isn’t long before players realize that Julyan is just as bizarre as the rest of her family. She’s fast, terrifyingly strong, and lethally proficient with her weapon of choice: the frying pan.
No one and nothing can stand against her,not even Gilgameshis a match for her. Even the Warrior of Light (the player) is terrified of her. Hildibrand may not have had the best sense of self-preservation when he told his mother about his intent to adopt the little mamment, Gigi. Her reaction to this news was to pull out her even bigger frying pan and, in her words, “beat some senses into him”. In addition to this, Julyan even helps set the scene for Even Further Hildibrand Adventures when she hits her son so hard he goes flying to the other side of the world (not an exaggeration).
5Manderville Mambo
Occurs in: Even Further Hildibrand Adventures and Somehow Further Hildibrand Adventures.
Back during Hildibrand Adventures, players are taught the Manderville Dance emote as part of the storyline. With the release of Even Further Hildibrand Adventures, players learn a brand new Hildibrand themed emote: the Manderville Mambo.
Unfortunately, this whacky emote dance is not learned until the end of the Even Further Hildibrand Adventures, but it is certainly worth it. Every chapter of Even Further Hildibrand Adventures ended with the characters performing the Manderville Mambo, including the player character in the finale.
4Close Encounters
Occurs in: Somehow Further Hildibrand Adventures.
As if the storyline of all the Hildibrand quests couldn’t get more bizarre, the series introducedinEndwalkerfound a way to go even further with the silliness. Shortly after returning to the Source, Hildibrand gets abducted by aliens. He somehow ends up on the moon. When he asked to be returned home, a series of misadventures occurred that resulted in multiple duplicates of the Inspector being created. Eventually, Hildibrand decides to help the alien, PuPu, find their long last companion. This leads to a lengthy series of shenanigans that lead perfectly to the next funny moment.
3Brandihild
When the search to find PuPu’s companion goes, largely, unsuccessful. PuPu gets the idea that they could cover more ground if they cloned the Inspector. Despite the fact that having a bunch of Hildibrand clones didn’t work last time, PuPu tries again anyway. Rather than an army of clones, a single clone is created due to an error in the process.
This clone ends up looking like Hildibrand if he had beenFinal Fantasy 7on the original PlayStation. He is significantly lower resolution than all of the other characters, and goes by Brandihild instead of Hildibrand. On top of that, the clone is smarter than Hildibrand and far more humble as well.
In difficult or dangerous situations, Brandihild is somehow able to pause time and go into a mind space where he can calculate a stupidly complex solution to a problem he and his companions are facing. Hildibrand tries this as well later on, and it fails miserably.
2The Warrior of Darkness Makes a Fool of Themself
Occurs in: Somehow Further Hildibrand Adventures
Before all the aliens, clones, and abductions,Final Fantasy 14players had to go to the First to rescue Hildibrand’s soul which was stranded there. They are accompanied by Theyler and Vonard, both of whom look up to the player since they are the Warrior of Darkness who saved the FirstduringShadowbringers.
It must have been a shock for the two to see the Warrior of Darkness do a ridiculous dance to lure out a very confused Hildibrand. Whether they choose the Manderville Dance or the Manderville Mambo, players end up looking incredibly silly. Despite this, Theyler and Vonard join in and the plan works.
1Father and Son
Occurs in: Hildibrand Adventures
During Hildibrand Adventures, Hildibrand teaches players the Maderville Dance so that they can summon his father:Godbert Manderville. Hildibrand hides during this scene, as he does not want to be seen by his father. While Godbert is encountered in other parts ofFinal Fantasy 14, he always seems to be missing his clothes almost every time he shows up during any Hildibrand quest.
What made this scene so funny, however, was the chase scene between father and son. Hildibrand may be fast, but his father is faster. He manages to catch up and then suplexes his son into the ground. This isn’t the only time in which Hildibrand gets thrown around by his father, but this first time was certainly the most memorable of them all.
